Chapter 1 - One Thousand Gifts

I have decided to read 1000 Gifts by Ann Voskamp with a group of women in my (in)courage group.  Last night I got through the first chapter, and thought I'd put some of my thoughts to paper on some of the sections that stuck out in my mind :)

Ann writes: 

Really, when you bury a child of when you just simply get up every day and live life raw - you murmur the question soundlessly. No one hears. Can there be a good God? Where is God, really? How can he be good when babies die, and marriages implode and dreams blow away, dust in the wind? How do I wake up to joy and grace and beauty and all that is the fullest life when I must stay numb to losses and crushed dreams and all that empties me out?

I spent much of my early Christian life feeling this way. Although I have never experienced the loss of a child, I have experienced losing loved ones and dealing with the frustrations of a sinful world and why a good God would let bad things happen to good people? One of the ways that I learned to get past this particular concern is to realize that God would not be righteous if he did, in fact, let bad things happen to good people. But there are no good people by His standards. We are all fallen sinful humans, desperately in need of his mercy and grace.  The original sin brought into the world has made all of us sick, and the only cure is the healing power of a justifying faith in Jesus Christ. It's also important for us to keep in mind that we cant go before God in our own arrogance asking Him WHY He does things. We have to trust in His plan.

Ann writes:  

I wake and put the feet to the plank floors, and I believe the Serpents hissing lie, the repeating refrain of his companion through the ages: God isn't good. It's the cornerstone of his movement. That God withholds good from his children, that God does not genuinely, fully, love us. Doubting God's goodness, distrusting His intent, discontented with what He's given, we desire .. I have desired .. more. The fullest life.

Why do we listen to the lies of Satan? Why do we, His precious creation, turn our back on Him and think that He has not given us everything? We have a creator that has given the ULTIMATE gift - the sacrifice of His Son, and yet we cry to Him that our lives are unfair and that we don't deserve the life we have? We question his love, as we enjoy the beauty around us that He's created. We don't deserve anything that God gives us, and we still ask for more!

Ann writes:

Satan's sin becomes the first sin of all humanity: the sin of ingratitude. Isn't that the catalyst for all my sins?

OUCH. This one hit me hard. I am often so ungrateful for things in my life. I complain about finances, not comprehending that my income level (while less than I have become accustomed to) is still higher than probably more than I'd like to admit in this country.  I worry about my children forgetting their coats or their lunchboxes at school and forget to be thankful for the blessing of a Christian school where they are grounded daily in the Word of God.  It finally dawns on me. I am an ungrateful spoiled brat. My Father should be ashamed of my behavior, but instead I look to my side at this person who is holding my hand completely unashamed telling the Father how worthy I am .. Jesus. He's standing proud next to me telling the Father that I am his bride.

Ann writes:

How do I give up resentment for gratitude, gnawing anger for spilling joy? Self-Focus and God-Communion.

I have to take this journey. I have to trade in this attitude of ingratitude for a life filled with JOY and true communion with God. I am going to accept this dare. A dare to live full of grace and joy.